Losing Hope in Spring?

I was so excited for the first day of spring.  I was so excited for Easter too. 

I was filled with hope.  I was excited for the budding leaves on the trees.  I was excited for the colorful flower buds.  I was excited for the return of the robins.  

My hope though for rebirth, new starts, new beginnings, fresh hope is dwindling.  

We have done some spring projects.  

We took out the old and planted new in an area on the west side of our house.  We pulled three trees, we removed mulch, we moved a bunch of rock.  We then planted rhododendron and hydrangea plants, we planted bare root peonies, we planted lily bulbs.  We put back the mulch.  We moved the rock again.  

Then the world was turned inside out.  We were put on “house restriction”, told to “stay put at home”, told to “hunker down”.  We now go to the grocery store once a week.  We now go to the post office once a week.  We now telework from home.  

And on Easter weekend I got sick (not with the coronavirus) and I watched for a week-and-a-half the rejuvenation of the earth from my bedroom window.  I am thankful for that bedroom window.  I watched the trees open their leaves.  I watched the clouds travel through the sky and felt the warming of the sun.  I could hear the birds singing their happy spring songs.  And I got better.

Now we are working on completely revamping a vegetable garden.  We have cleaned out the paths, taken apart the beds, shoveled out the weeds, and transplanted blueberry bushes and a rose bush.   And now we wait. 

Our stay home and hunker down was extended until May 31.  With news of the extension my hope has started to fade.

It’s not as easy to run down to Home Depot or Lowe’s and buy the cedar boards and the screws and the dirt and the plants.  We can’t just hop in the car and make a quick run to the store or to the nursery to buy plants.  It is as if our every move is done in a precise calculated manner.  

And we worry.  We worry about being around too many people.  We worry about loss of jobs and no income.  We worry about our family and friends working their essential jobs.  We worry about our children being homeschooled.  We worry that summer will be spent in our yards alone, not camping or having picnics or hiking or beachcombing or being with friends.  Our summer concerts are canceled, our Fourth of July parades and fireworks are canceled, our farmer’s markets are canceled.  

What happens to our hope about all things spring and summer?  I am definitely feeling my hope decreasing as the weeks go by.

Today, though, I woke with the first verse of Louis Armstrong’s song “What a Wonderful World” stuck in my head.  “I see trees of green, red roses too.  I see them bloom for me and you.  And I think to myself what a wonderful world”.  I don’t know why I woke up singing this verse but it has stayed with me all day.

It has been a good reminder for me today.  Even though we are wrought with worry and tired of this unfamiliar new normal, it is still a “wonderful world”.  The trees are green.  The roses are red.  The world is abloom.  There is still hope, maybe not the same hopes from two months ago, but there is hope.  

The world is blooming with hope around us.  Trees are green.  Flowers of every color are budding.  The sun is warming.  The birds are singing.  The world is alive with rebirth and rejuvenation.  The earth itself is offering us hope. 

Amidst all the worry and all the unknown, we should all seek out something to be grateful for each and every day.  Let’s replenish our grateful hearts and hold on to hope.  Every day look for something to be grateful for – “trees of green and red roses too”.  Let the renewing beauty of the world around you refill your heart and rejuvenate your hope.  Spring is blooming for me and for you!